Transgender (Gorillaz)
by drunken wanker
Summary: Transgenser AU; one-shot; Murdoc's discovery of Noodle's deepest darkest secret.


Sometimes her heart raced and she wanted to laugh and skip and clap her hands when her present life consisted of girl's clothes, being adressed as a girl, having girly toys, being the only girl in a household full of boys, and feeling secure in her girly shell.

Her walls were purple, her bed sheets were pink, her blanket was white, her pillow was pink, and her white dresser with vines of flowers painted on the side was full of dresses and skirts and frilly shirts.

But she remembered that they didn't know.

They didn't know of her psychological horrors, what it was like for her when she felt so happy and feminine until she saw what was in between her legs.

She hated having a penis.

She hated it more than anything else in the entire world, she wanted it gone and to have the same body parts as a girl. When they were out, she saw girls about her same age who were developing breasts.

She hated those girls.

They could have all the girl body parts they wanted. They didn't understand how bad she wanted to be like them.

She loved being the baby girl of the household. It made her feel special, like she was truly loved and they would risk their lives for her.

But she realized that she was almost just like them. She had their body parts. She would grow up and get a deep voice and hair on her face.

At best, she would be the man in the dress.

She didn't want to, though. She wanted to be a normal girl and grow up to be a normal woman with woman body parts.

And for the time being, she wanted them to understand what her little world was like, and to stay their little girl, and for them to continue to call her a girl no matter how deep her voice got and how often she had to shave.

She often cried herself to sleep at night. Sometimes, 2-D would come into her room and sing to her until she fell asleep, her face red and her cheeks damp.

They all noticed that she began to scrutinize her image in the mirror. She examined her neck and chin, to check for hair and an Adam's Apple.

She became increasingly depressed. She knew she would have to tell them one day. Tell them about her penis and inability to grow boobs like all the other girls.

All the other girls.

That's all she wanted.

To be just

Like

Them.

Her fate to live as a transvestite changed one day.

She was alone with Murdoc.

He never really left his Winnebago too often, so she took this opportunity to do what she had been wanting to do for a long time.

She snuck into the kitchen and graciously plucked out a knife.

An hour had gone by since Murdoc noticed Noodle was in the bathroom. She was still in there.

Something told him she wasn't really going to the bathroom.

So he built up the courage to check on her.

He listened into the door. It was almost silent, except for the sound of sniffing and a small sob.

He slowly set his hand on the doorknob...and swiftly pushed it open.

A shriek came from the young child, and she covered the area between her legs with her hand, gripping the knife with the other.

He stared at her, confused look on his face.

She only cast him a glance, before looking away and keeping her eyes on the ground.

"What are you doing?" He asked slowly and cautiously.

She just kept her eyes down.

It was a weird situation for the bassist. Scary because of the blade, and just plain strange that it was placed just next to her... genital areas.

She only trembled and cried for a second, before opening her mouth and murmuring grimly, "Cutting off the boy body parts."

He remained speechless before managing, "oh."

And that's when so many things came to light.

Her depression, her anxiously looking in the mirror, the tearful nights, her envious behavior in public, and her occasional emotional and social distance.

He had a transgender child on his hands.

Noodle pulled her pants back up and set the knife down.

She shamefully kept her eyes away from him.

"It's okay, y'know."

Noodle looked up at him, nearly shocked at his response.

"What?"

"I just don't know why you didn't tell us in the first place."

She shrugged.

He sighed. "We wouldn't be mad, there's nothing bad about it. I don't really mind, Russel loves you too much, and the face ache is too stupid to care or discriminate."

Noodle couldn't help but giggle.

"You're gonna have to tell them."

That caught her attention. She began to anxiously wring her hands.

"I'll do it for you if you want."

She beamed and looked back up at him.

"Really?"

He chuckled. "Course, kid." He wrapped his arm around her.

She smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah, kid."

She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, before skipping off to her room


End file.
